Family Fued
by Jenica King
Summary: America and Australia are always fighting, poor England just wants them to stop trying to kill each other... one shot Rated T for language


Family Fued

AN: This is my first hetalia story so please be as harsh as you like as long as you review! This is all Catching Tomorrow's fault anyway so... I am super very absolutely sorry for any OOC-ness and for those who don't come from down under (cause apparently only we say this) A dibber Dobber (or Dobber) is a taddle-tale

"Hey give that back, it's mine!"

"Is not!"

"Yuh-huh!"

"OW! BRITIAN!"

England sighed. Those two colonies were more trouble than they were worth. He walked over to the living room and opened the door to find them rolling along the floor with their hands around each other's necks.

"Stop that this instant!" he grabbed their collars and pulled them apart. The two nations struggled against his hands, clawing at the air. He shook their collars. "I said enough!" they stopped fighting and glared at each other. "Now what happened?"

America pointed accusingly at Australia, "He bit me!"

Australia poked his tongue out. "Dibber Dobber!"

England sighed in frustration. America crossed his arms.

"It's true! See?" He pulled up his sleeve to reveal bite marks.

"Australia!" England groaned at the younger of the two boys.

"He started it! He stole my boomerang!"

England looked at America. "Is that true?"

"It's not his! I found it under the couch!"

"That's just 'cause it fell there last night! Now give it BACK!" Australia reached for the older boy snarling.

"Why? Ya gonna make me, baby?" America sneered.

"I'm not a BABY!"

"Yeah you are!"

"Take that back!"

"Make me!"

"RRRG!" Australia wriggled free from England's grasp and ran bodily into America. They rolled over each other kicking, scratching, and biting. "Take it back!" Australia growled.

"No!"

"Stop it!" England tried to pull them apart, but failed. He groaned. He only had one chance of separating them when they were like this, and he didn't relish trying it. "Scotland, can you give me a hand here?" a few seconds later the burly older nation was leaning on the door frame.

"Cannae ye hack it?" he asked, smirking.

England would have said something but at that moment a flailing fist hit him across the jaw.

"Ouch." he walked over and grabbed the two flailing kids, pulling them away from his little brother.

England found his voice. "Wonderful, now you grab one I'll grab the other and we both pull." Scotland raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a better idea?" England huffed. Scotland shrugged and reached for the nearest kid, only to pull back swearing.

"Ow! Shit!" England looked at him disapprovingly. Australia in particular had already picked up on some colourful language from England and his soldiers before England had brought him over to his house. It wasn't entirely England's fault. When you're on an island full of poisonous reptiles it's hard to watch your language. "Wha'? The little monster bi' me!"

"Australia!" England sighed in exasperation. He waited until the boys had their hands around each other's necks, so there was no chance of getting hit by them, and grabbed the Aussie around the waist, nodding at Scotland to do the same with America. At a nod the both pulled, separating the brothers once and for all. England grabbed Australia's hands to stop him squirming. "Now, you are going to apologise to your uncle for biting him."

Australia glared at his feet. "Sorry Uncle Scotland."

"And to your brother."

"NO! Not until he gives me back my boomerang. And says sorry for calling me a baby!" he added hastily.

"America,"

"I'm not saying sorry until he does!" America pouted.

England looked at Scotland for help, but he just smirked, put America down and left. Wonderful, just bloody wonderful. He looked at the pouting older colony. "America, why don't you apologise for calling Australia a baby. Then Australia, you can apologise for biting him. And then America can apologise and give back the boomerang. Alright?" he finished.

The two glared at each other for a minute. "Fine." they growled.

"Australia, I'm sorry I called you a baby." America muttered.

"And I'm sorry I bit you." Australia moaned.

"here's your stupid boomerang." America handed over the L-shaped piece of wood that left England staring at it shocked that something so small could cause so much trouble.

He smiled. "There isn't that better?" the kids didn't answer. He sighed. "Well I'm going to start dinner. Try not to kill each other." the boys nodded. "Good."

He walked over to the kitchen to hear the sound of something flying through the air followed by America screaming. "THAT'S IT AUSTRALIA! YOU'RE GOING DOWN!"

England sighed. This was going to be a long night.


End file.
